Jewish Press 2/6/2009

Late in December, my family suddenly informs me that I have to come home. Although I normally welcome holiday travel like a hefty attack of the stomach flu, this time I have no choice. Flying by myself under the circumstances is a very bad idea, so I decide to take my daughter Isabella along. As soon as I share my plans with her, the panic sets in. “What about the Science Fair?” she asks, and I quickly check the calendar. Late February, so I think we’ll be okay. Once she hears there is very little chance we’ll be gone that long, she relaxes. “Besides,” I say, “you can do your experiments in Holland, can’t you? I’m sure it’ll be very inspiring.” When I introduce the topic to my family, they are more than game to play their part. My brother knows a great science museum, and my sister immediately starts making plans. In spite of the fact that our list of famous painters is roughly three times as long, there have been some great scientists in the lowlands. From Huygens to Leeghwater to Van Leeuwenhoek, there are plenty of good role models to choose from. Didn’t Descartes live in Leiden for over twenty years? Maybe she can build her own microscope, or a hydraulic dam, or dissect a tulip bulb. Maybe she can build a miniature (working) windmill. With popsicle sticks.
“No,” she says, “I want to watch green beans rot.”
Fantastic. Why is it that science experiments always involve all things gross and disgusting? I envision a filthy decomposing pile of rubbish on my mother’s kitchen counter, and sigh. “I’m sure grandma will be delighted,” I say, and hope for the best. My mother, when I give her the good news, doesn’t seem fazed. This is probably because she doesn’t remember anything about children and the messes they make. No worries, she will find out soon enough.
Over the next few days, while we anxiously await our departure, my sister prepares several dishes with raw and partially cooked beans. My brother offers us a forgotten piece of bell pepper that he discovered in the back of his fridge. “No, thanks,” I tell him, “we’re only doing beans.” Soon, photographs of said beans start to arrive on my email, and discussions about my father’s illness are interspersed with comments about mold and questions about whether the outside experiment will be eaten by those famous Amsterdam pigeons. Once we arrive in Holland, we take daily photographs of beans that rot, beans that freeze, beans that get covered in snow, and beans that dry out. Not to be outdone in the nastiness-department, our son busies himself with a few experiments of his own: he throws about eight farm fresh eggs down the stairs at an uncle’s house, then quickly follows this up with a “stick your finger in the bunny cage and see what happens” investigation. That’s okay; this trip, everybody gets a chance to shine. Besides, it’s handy to know that eggs, when thrown down the stairs onto a concrete floor, will break every time, and that bunnies don’t know the difference between a juicy carrot and a finger.
It occurs to me that we were all ready to be a little distracted from the situation we found ourselves in; we just didn’t know how until the Friedel Science Fair threw us a lifeline.


