Dancing Barefoot in the Rain

This column previously appeared in The Jewish Press, June 2008

Spring is here; the jar that my daughter brings to me says so. Inside, I find a bug and some leafy greens; she proudly tells me she “screwed the lid on extra tight so Mr. Bug won’t escape”. I explain that Mr. Bug probably won’t survive the lack of oxygen, and with a disappointed look she takes her brand-new pet back outside and releases him.  In truth, I don’t have the faintest idea how long a bug can live in a jar, but I’m not willing to find out. There’s a reason I have the exterminator stop by my house every two months.

Fortunately, there are other ways to freak your parents out when the weather gets nice, and my children know them all. We’ve already had the first accident (our daughter Isabella falling out of a tree) and the first really dumb idea (our son Mendel using a rake to play horse while standing in a wheelbarrow). Our kids find that nice weather is best enjoyed in an atmosphere of danger.

            I am not entirely convinced I am the right parent for the season. I hate bugs, and I don’t like swimming. I despise that the maple tree in front of my house seems to drop a hundred branches every time the wind blows, and that the hot sun makes the trashcan smell like something furry died in there; most of all, I hate how by the time my house settles down it is too dark to truly enjoy my garden. Of course, I would love to be a fun mom, and sometimes I think I am, but these days I mostly hear myself say things like Stop stepping on the flowers, That roof is not for climbing, and, most popular of all: Get out of the compost heap! No wonder my children look at me as if they wish I’d turn into a garden gnome. What fun is a back yard if you can’t get dirty and destroy things? Where’s my summer spirit?

            When I was little, I practically lived outside during the summer. I grew up near the woods, and there wasn’t a tree I didn’t climb, an adventure I didn’t have, or a dare I didn’t fall for. The only rule my parents had was: “be home in time for dinner”, and even that I often didn’t stick to (Sorry, mom). Yet now that I am a mother myself, and my children’s outside is the size of a postage stamp compared to the world I used to play in, I am suddenly the biggest chicken on the block. Obviously, it’s time for an attitude adjustment.

            Someone very smart once told me that G-d does not perform unnecessary miracles; if you can fix things yourself, He will not split the Red Sea for you. So now what? I decide I have to set some new ground rules, starting with less interference on my part. This means, if Isabella and Mendel are outside, let them be outside in the fullest sense of the word. So what if they get dirty, so what if their shins bruise until they look like the map of Europe; it’s not the end of the world if they wear the signs of summer. And with Memorial Day just around the corner, we have many warm months ahead of us, so I might as well relax. And they don’t need to know that I peek out the window every two minutes, and then give myself a stern talking to. Maybe I’ll get really brave and introduce some shock treatment: next time there’s a summer storm, we can all go outside and dance barefoot in the rain.

Let’s hope it stays dry until deep into August.

Friedel Gala 2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Garden of Eden, by Friedel students.

On the evening of June first, more than 200 community members came together at Beth Israel for an Israeli themed dinner, Friedel style. Honorees were retiring Principal Cookie Katskee, Dr. Eric Phillips and his wife, Friedel art teacher Julie Phillips, and board member Donald Gerber. Emcees of the evening were Debbie Denenberg and Lloyd Roitstein.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

f.l.t.r.:honoree Cookie Katskee, Rabbi Jonathan Gross, honorees Donald Gerber, Dr. Eric Phillips, Julie Phillips

Board member Bruce Potash, who was the driving force behind organizing the event, said: “The committee, consisting of Jeff and Sherry Taxman, Jeff and Danielle Gordman, Bob and Kim Goldberg, and my wife Linda Potash, did a fantastic job pulling it all together. Also, we are very grateful to the honorary chair, Phyllis Friedel. We were very pleased to see so many friends of Friedel together in one room. We are already thinking about next year, and we are planning to make the Friedel Tribute Celebration an annual event.”

Rabbi Jonathan Gross, who was one of the presenters, introduced honoree Donald Gerber, who has devoted much time and energy towards Friedel. “I believe it is important for a community to have a heart beat,” Gerber said in his speech, “and a healthy, robust day school, supported by this many people, is certainly evidence Omaha has that heart beat.” Rabbi Gross added that, since he made a quip about emptying his pockets during graduation, he had come to the conclusion “$1.36 was not enough to start a trust fund. We’ll need quite a bit more than that, and I hope this dinner will be the first of many. Friedel Jewish Academy is teaching the future of our community, and we can all be very proud of the school for the quality education and wonderful atmosphere they provide.”

                                                 Donald Gerber, Gaston Bogomolni, Jeff Taxman

Retiring Principal Cookie Katskee had the honor of introducing Dr. Eric and Julie Phillips, and the guests were given a first-hand look at what the Friedel students learn in art class. Bob Goldberg coordinated a short film, showing students eloquently explaining what Miss Julie and her art instruction means to them. The children said, “Art is art”, and art can be anything you want it to be. One student explained that even when something goes “wrong” it can be turned into something else, an idea that is very important to Julie Phillips: “It is good for children to see that when things don’t turn out exactly the way you expected, it doesn’t automatically mean you throw it away and start anew. You can keep working with the same materials, but in a different direction. This is a notion that can be used for life, relationships, all sorts of problems we run into; art can be a great metaphor for life in general.”

Board member and Treasurer Jerry Gordman introduced Cookie Katskee, who was celebrated for spending the past five-and-a-half years at the helm, and helping Friedel grow and flourish. Bob Goldberg coordinated a film for Cookie as well, giving the staff and teachers at Friedel a chance to speak out on everything she has done for the school. Cookie was given a standing ovation, as well as a surprise, when several older students showed up carrying in one of Cookie’s most beloved art projects. Several years ago, Friedel students created a painting, “The Garden of Eden”, which Julie Phillips had framed in order to present it to Cookie upon her retirement. “This is such a wonderful gift,” Cookie said, “I’ve always loved this piece so much. I noticed it was missing from the school, and have been wondering all this time what happened to it!”

Nancy Mattly provided guests with an absolutely fabulous menu, which, in honor of Yom Yerushalayim, included many Israeli themed dishes. “The food was great,” guest Tippi Denenberg said. Denenberg attended with her husband Steve, sister-in-law Debbie, as well as Steve and Debbie’s parents Norm and Eunice Denenberg. “It was such a haimische experience, and it was a wonderful opportunity to get pumped for next year.” Tippi and Steve’s son Danny will be starting Kindergarten at Friedel come Fall, as will Debbie’s son Levi and daughter Rebecca, which gave the whole family plenty of reason to support Friedel whole heartedly.

Susan Fellman-Witkowski, who attended with husband Isaac, and is the current President of the school board, was equally impressed: “This was a wonderful warm gathering of around 200 extended “family” members, all coming together to celebrate a few of their own who have worked countless hours to help FJA grow into the successful thriving school that it has become.  The planning committee for this tribute dinner did an outstanding job making the evening memorable and elegant; yet somehow, it felt like having a night out with a few of your closest friends.  We couldn’t have asked for a better event!”

The evening ended on a musical note, as Donald Gerber, Gaston Bogomolni, and Jeffrey Taxman treated the audience to an inspirational and very entertaining concert. Rabbi Gross gave a short speech in honor of Yom Yerushalayim, and many attendees lingered long beyond the official end time of 8:30 to enjoy the music, the great company, and maybe the last few bites of that delectable chocolate dessert.

Hanukkah 2007

Bad Toys
By Annette van de kamp-Wright

(This column was previously published in The Jewish Press, November 2007)

 With Hanukkah just around the corner, it’s time for the December Dilemma.  I am not referring to any real or imaginary issues we have with the Christmas season; I am talking about the question of what appropriate Hanukkah presents look like. I know people who manage to make it through eight days with the help of Gelt and candles, and maybe a donut and a latke or two, and I admire them.  They avoid greedy behavior, spending too much money, and wasting hours wrapping every gift just so.  This is not the case at our house.

 

            Of course, my husband and I have set the precedent years ago, and now we are stuck: Hanukkah is here and presents are expected.  I think that’s okay; besides, I like buying and wrapping presents for my children.  Now that my daughter is in first grade, she plans ahead: as soon as the first toy catalog hits the mailbox, she buries her nose in it and sighs wistfully every five minutes or so.  I told her to make a list with things she would like; if she is expecting ridiculous things like ponies or a new house, I’d like to know about it.  We set rules: for each toy she has to write down a book; and my husband and I agree that only one Barbie is allowed. What’s more, nothing can be over fifteen dollars. That way we avoid unacceptable items like the “Barbie hot tub party bus” and the “Barbie gymnastic Divas playset”.  I am not making this up.

            When she presents me with her “Hnakah”-list, I am pleasantly surprised; there is not a single item over $15.   She wants a crown, a fake flower, and a new dress. As an extra reminder, she has drawn a picture of a present in the corner of the paper.  As far as books go, she casts her net a little wider: instead of specifics, she has written down categories, such as art-books, and ‘funny books’. This begs the question of what books are ‘funny’ to six year olds.  I’ve already bought her a ‘Shakespeare for Children’ book; would she consider that funny?  I doubt it.  All in all, this is not such a bad list.  Judging from the toy catalog, things could be much more grave.

            For instance, there is a dinosaur doll, that develops its own personality based on how much time you spend with it.  In other words, time you don’t spend reading, or being outside, or cleaning your room.  The cost is a mere $349.99.  I wonder, if you leave it lying around too much, does it develop a personality disorder? Does it become socio-pathic if you don’t cuddle it?  That’s a pretty big risk to take for a couple of hundred dollars. The toy that truly puzzles me is a doll by the name of ‘baby alive wets ‘n wiggles’.  Yes, it is exactly what you think it is.  Who comes up with that?  And who wants a doll in the house that pees and doesn’t lie still; didn’t we suffer enough when our own, very real, babies went through that phase?  Hm, maybe I can buy this for her when she turns 16, as a warning?

This year, there are some new toys inspired by the movie “Transformers”.  My husband liked the movie; I didn’t see it and plan to keep it that way.  “But it has Shia LaBeouf in it!” he’ll say, as if a Jewish actor in the lead role automatically makes a movie acceptable.  Even he has to admit, though, that the accompanying toys are questionable at best.  Take for example the ‘Optimus Prime Voice Changer Helmet’, or the ‘Optimus Prime Battle Rig Blaster’.  Who even knows what these things are?  The little boys that wish for them are probably also enchanted by the idea of owning the ‘Ben 10 Deluxe Ominitrix’, which is a kind of oversized wristwatch that apparently helps defeat evil.  Well, no ten year old can live without one of those, I guess. 

            I have to ask myself, am I going to be one of those parents that absolutely don’t understand what their children want?  Do I make fun of, and use sarcasm when confronted with the toy aisle, merely to mask the fact that I’m experiencing a disconnect?  Maybe.  When I am confronted with the picture of a tent shaped like a café, I enquire whether it comes with a real coffee maker. Now that would be handy.  My daughter doesn’t think I am funny and rolls her eyes; she’s probably worried sick about what I’m buying for her.

            Of course, the real question remains to be answered: what is Hanukkah really about?  Because we all know that it isn’t about presents, and it isn’t about how crisp the Latkes are, or whether that new dress matches your expectations.  I do believe that, although Hanukkah is one of the minor holidays, it can fulfill a major role in our Jewish life, if we let it.  It is about spending time with friends and family, and about togetherness; about forming strong bonds through traditions and beliefs. About believing that miracles continue to happen, every day. It is, in short, a holiday that reminds us that Judaism brings light to dispel the darkness that so often surrounds us.  And dispelling darkness is better for our children than any toys I can think of.